2 years ago
I have PCOS too. The fertility issue is touchy, regardless of where you fall on the spectrum. I often feels as though my reproductive system is not taken seriously because I have never been pregnant and never plan to be. On the one hand, I am dismissed if I express that I don't ever want children - "you'll change your mind," "you just haven't met the right man," etc. - but I'm also dismissed for expressing any feelings about my reproductive health, because apparently my body only exist to produce children, and if I'm not doing that I need to shut up. In reality, my organs are with me all the time whether or not I'm growing a baby with them, and have caused me incredible amounts of physical suffering. So many people get diagnosed with PCOS when trying to conceive, so it feels as though the whole disorder is defined by pregnancy when in reality it's much bigger.
This is part of why I feel awkward when I hear these arguments about women trying to get pregnant and being so tormented that their body is "failing" to bear children. My body can't either, but I can't relate to that sort of emotional distress.
I've gotten to the point where I won't discuss pregnancy, the potential of pregnancy, or any wishes for pregnancy or non-pregnancy. Like you said, I do feel some relief knowing that I'm unlikely to have an accidental pregnancy, but I also feel as though I'm adrift between one world where women are having babies left and right and another where women WANT to have them but can't. I'm neither.