Dear White, South African Farmers,

Save the blacks some hard work: Burn your farm crops, buildings, implements and machinery to ashes. Leave nothing of value. Otherwise, it will take several years for the black farmers to screw it up. Skip the long downward spiral of decay.

Then, hop on a plane and head to the U.S. where sanctuary cities abound. Hiding out will be easy. Grab a fake i.d. and vote. Just make sure to appropriate a Spanish surname.